The Beer List

John Carey (JC) & Colin Edelman (CE) invite you to try em all....

TypeCompanyNameJC #CE #Avg #Notes
Ale (American Amber)Ballast PointCalico Amber Ale3.533.5surprisingly hoppy (a little vs IPA), no brown flavor therefore more light IPA
Ale (American Amber)SteinhausJumping Cow Amber Ale433.5very malty, hoppy ending better than fat weasel but not my much
Ale (American Amber)TröegsHopback Amber Ale3.544IBU must be high, similar to IPA (it's 55) (Troegs)
Ale (American Amber)Dark HorseAmber Ale2.554smells tastes like cider, medicine- JC - smells good, taste bad, less sweet cider
Ale (American Amber)CoorsGeorge Killian's Irish Red5.534.5Not much to it
Ale (American Amber)SixpointRedd6.545.5CE- good thickness, interesting color, sour bit of bitter JC- pot brownie (pick of the flight). CE just didn't taste it
Ale (American Amber)Fire IslandLighthouse Ale5.555.5light light light (& clean)
Ale (American Amber)Blue MoonValencia Grove Amber55.55.5thinner, more waterier ver of blue moon w/more bitterness- smoothier than overspiced blue moon
Ale (American Amber)MontaukArrowhead Red Ale565.5sweet caramel, dry
Ale (American Black)ElementDark Element20.51.5too perfumy
Ale (American Black)UintaDubhe (Imperial Black IPA)3.51.52hops are an afterthought(?) yet Uinta says "astronomical amount of hops"
Ale (American Black)Dark HorseReserve Special Black Ale322.5JC- lot of dark chocolate and coffee, so dry/bitter that you don't taste alcohol, CE- extra dark iced coffee that's hard to go down
Ale (American Blonde)VictorySummer of Love2.50.51.5hop hell, onion ring nose
Ale (American Blonde)Great South BayBlonde Ambition222meh
Ale (American Blonde)KonaBig Wave Golden Ale3.533.5body odor hops
Ale (American Blonde)Blue PointSummer Ale444clean/light but not great, doesn't stray far from original, sour finish
Ale (American Blonde)ShipyardExport Ale44.54.5hops & sweet combo, slighty alcohol taste. just as much hops as can handle
Ale (American Blonde)Blue MoonSunshine Citrus Blonde6.54.55.5CE- light smooth close to watery, little/no citrus, JC - best blue moon so far
Ale (American Blonde)Great DivideSamurai Rice Ale6.556Good Ale. Light Beer, not as light as lager. Rice nose & Aftertaste. Can be drank all night. A bit of sourness
Ale (American Blonde)16 MileBlue's Golden Ale66.56.5CE- slight sweetness, good start to beer month club JC- cripsy
Ale (American Brown)Cricket HillCascade1.522All Gross hops
Ale (American Brown)Goose IslandNut Brown Ale53.54.5CE- sweet start, dry end not bad but nothing there to my liking JC- slightly bitter, okay
Ale (American Brown)Dogfish HeadIndian Brown Ale5.53.54.5Very Hoppy Dark Beer, JC- bitter on start, smooth coffee on finish, CE- respect it but not my type of beer
Ale (American Brown)Boulder BeerFlashback Ale544.5JC- like IPA, CE - very bitter finish, like a heavy yuengling
Ale (American Brown)Dark HorseBoffo Brown Ale555chocolate smell/taste, lighter stout, not bitter
Ale (American Brown)Sierra NevadaTumbler5.555.5CE- crispy flavor but nothing too special, JC- I like
Ale (American Brown)Captain LawrenceBrown Bird Brown Ale4.565.5CE- smooth & dark JC- but too much like coffee
Ale (American Strong)SteinhausFat Weasel Ale322.5bitter metallic, nothing pleasant here
Ale (American Strong)StoneDouble Bastard Strong Ale4.523.5CE- way intense, hops kicked my ass (record low!) JC- sweet syrupy thick
Ale (American Strong)Breckenridge BreweryHolidale4.534JC- too sweet for me, CE-smooth w/medicine aftertaste (whiskey barrel-aged Christmas Ale)
Ale (American Strong)LagunitasUndercover Investigation Shut-down Ale44.54.5bitter but not terrible/offensive, bit of sweetness to it helps
Ale (American Strong)Abita25th Anniversary Vanilla Doubledog5.56.56vanilla root beer float, cream soda
Ale (American Wild)MikkellerYeast Series Brettanomyces Bruxellensis2.52.52.5JC- fruity perfume, CE- sour hops
Ale (American Wild)ElysianMortis Sour Persimmon Ale444sour cider, penny after taste
Ale (Belgian Dark Ale)Abbaye de Leffe S.A.Leffe Brown6.566.5JC- smells like wheat beer but belgian taste hits up front, CE- more drink more i like- some medicine taste but not crazy
Ale (Belgian Strong Dark)Stone12.12.12 Vertical Epic Ale5.52.53.59% ABV, JC- a lot of dark christmas, CE- everything offensive in a beer
Ale (Belgian Strong Dark)Brouwerij Van Steenberge N.V.Gulden Draak2.54.53.5tripel but doesn't taste like it, 10% ABV
Ale (Belgian Strong Dark)UnibroueTrois Pistoles4.53.54malty, champagne feel, alcohol taste- nothing stands out as great Abbey Style Strong Dark Ale
Ale (Belgian Strong Dark)UnibroueMaudite6.566.5sweet smell, dubbel ending - like everything but the alcohol finish
Ale (Belgian Strong)RJ RockersFish Paralyzer Belgian-Style Pale Ale433.5burnt popcorn taste
Ale (Biere De Garde)Two BrothersDomaine Dupage (French Style Country Ale) body, full flavor taste, medium roast, caramel, sweet & sharp alcoholy ends
Ale (English Brown)Snake RiverOB-155.55.5CE- sweet, creamy and flat but pleasant still JC- little too it, weird after taste
Ale (English Brown)Red HookMudslinger65.56want to re-try
Ale (English Strong)The Shed BreweryMountain Ale322.5medicine/alcohol
Ale (English Strong)Lake PlacidUbu Ale544.5Sweet start, dull finish. nothing special
Ale (Heather)Widmer BrothersFraoch Heather Ale5.566sweet, very easy to drink
Ale (Irish Red)Murphy'sMurphy's Irish Red2.522.5metallic, only taste copper- penny water
Ale (Old)Greene King / Morland BreweryOld Crafty Hen444The most drinkable of this horrible line of brew.
Ale (Rye Beer)SixpointRighteous Ale5.524Very malty, kinda heavy.
Ale (Scotch) / Wee HeavyRiver HorseScotch Ale (Brewer's Reserve Batch #12)555
Ale (Scotch) / Wee HeavyBear RepublicHeritage Scotch Ale6.54.55.5JC - german dark beer (pick of the flight @ Breukelen Bier Merchants), very sweet. CE- caramel brown
Ale (Scottish)River HorseSmoked Scotch Ale35.54.5good balance (Brewer's Reserve Series)
Ale (Scottish)Olde BurnsideTen Penny Ale55.55.5tastes like dunkin donuts
AltbierACBCDizzy Brewnette Amber Ale565.5sweet caramel
AltbierOtter CreekOktoberfest65.56Really clean. Very light in flavors. Not a standard Oktoberfest
AltbierHövels HausbrauereiHövels Original64.55.5JC- full flavor, smooth, the only downfall is the watery finish, CE- watery, drop red flavor
Barleywine (American)Great DivideOld Ruffian Barley Wine433.5ass kicker, ok tail end with sweetness, JC - Classic barleywine taste. Full alcohol taste
Berliner Weisse (Sour Wheat)Gasthaus-Brauerei BraustelleFreigeist Abraxxxas475.5smoky then sour, CE- confirming sour beers are becoming contender for wheat as favorite
Black & TanOlde BurnsideDirty Penny Ale243coffee bitter, cigarette after taste (ran out of Penny Weiz at Nassau Spring '13?)
Black & TanHarpoonDirector's Cut (100 Barrel Series #45)4.544.5IPA mixed w/brown ale (brewery says: blend pale ale & stout)
BockSamuel AdamsWinter Lager4.53.54CE- hint of cherry over amber
BockSpoetzlShiner Bock4.544.5bland, drop caramel, easy to drink but not enjoyable, watery
BockNarragansettBock54.55full flavor
BockFull SailLTD 06 Black Bock455not overpowering coffee, but do taste it- can drink but wouldn't too much, baby porter (Czech style Cerné Speciální)
BockBreckenridge BreweryPandora's Bock4.55.55touch of sour, little dull tart- overall weird
BockAnchorAnchor Bock Beer66.56.5Dark, like a porter, hint of caramel/coffee, "VERY SMOOTH"
BockSamuel AdamsChocolate Bock6.577Very Sweet beer, not sure I'f I want more than 1-2
Bock (Doppelbock)TröegsTroegenator Double Bock2.522.5JC- old rotten prunes, "Dead Fruit", CE- sweet brandy, after dinner drink (Troegs)
Bock (Doppelbock)Birra MorettiLa Rossa544.5Dark (JC was 5.5, then 4.5)
Bock (Doppelbock)Staatliches HofbräuhausHofbräu Delicator5.555.5JC- very sweet. touch of bitter, very faint hoppy finish, kinda taste the alcohol at end, CE- drop sweet, bit apple juice
Bock (Maibock)Dinkelacker-Schwabenbraeu AGHeller Bock3.533.5medicine & perfume, yum!
Bock (Maibock)Trader Joe'sHofbrau Bock444tastes like old people, punch to it but not pleasant
Bock (Maibock)Greenport HarborMaibock454.5malty, coffee smell- best Greenport had so far
Bock (Maibock)Greenport HarborMaibock555CE- smooth malty caramel, JC- would be 6 if not so hoppy
Bock (Maibock)AbitaMardi Gras Bock4.565.5crisp, pilsner like
CiderLagar Sidra CastañonCastañon Sidra Natural232.5white wine & water
CiderMcKenzie’s Hard CiderOriginal444Very Sweet
CiderCalifornia Cider CompanyAce Joker Hard Cider3.54.54very champagne-y
CiderWoodchuck Hard CiderPear544.5very light
CiderCrispinFox Barrel Pacific Pear Cider454.5perfumy pear, crisp n fruity
CiderCalifornia Cider CompanyAce Pear3.55.54.5Very sweet. A touch of sour
CiderWandering Aengus CiderworksAnthem Hops555crisp not sweet
CiderWoodchuck Hard CiderGranny Smith Green Apple555decent break from the crap beers here (Nassau Spring '13)
CiderCrispinCrispin Original45.55Sweet Apple Juice
CiderCalifornia Cider CompanyAce Perry4.55.55super sweet jolly rancher
CiderWandering Aengus CiderworksAnthem Pear Cider55.55.5not much pear, so pretty good (made from apples, finished with pear)
Cream AleGreene King / Morland BreweryWexford Irish Cream Ale3.544smooth, but lacking flavor until the end, where it isn't very good, rusty
Cream AleSixpointSweet Action555Amber Carmel Color - A lot of of subtle flavors - malt, sweet, bitter finish
Cream AleNarragansettCream Ale565.5Pretty simple Beer, like the lager, but cream adds a slightly complexity- flavor/smoothness
DubbelBrouwerij CorsendonkCorsendonk Pater / Abbey Brown Ale5.55.55.5CE- smoky bourbon taste, JC- hints bitter coffee, wouldn't come back for more- expired 1/09/11- over 2 years
English BitterGreene King / Morland BreweryOld Golden Hen33.53.5not that good, nothing stands out.
English BitterCaledonianNewcastle Summer Ale645CE- weird skunky sweet, JC- sweet sour
English BitterShipyardOld Thumper Ale Extra Special Ale4.55.55CE- sweet nose, carbonated end JC - bitter, meh
English Bitter (ESB)MontaukDriftwood Ale2.533pale ale/IPA territory
English Bitter (ESB)McNeill's BreweryESB2.543.5Fat tire with belgian added, bitter pot taste
English Bitter (ESB)Left HandSawtooth Ale3.54.54Dull bitter water. Creamy but lacks flavor
English Bitter (ESB)StoudtsScarlet Lady Ale4.555JC- dull watery, CE- creamy, something burnt (hops?), malty
English Bitter (Ordinary)L'anjubLug43.53.5
Flanders Oud BruinBrouwerij Van Steenberge N.V.Monk's Cafe Flemish Sour Ale5.566nice & smooth, not too sour
Gimmick/SpicedBoston BeerCurious Traveler Shandy010.5CE- NO! this is not beer, JC- Dud!
Gimmick/SpicedElysianRuin Rosemary Agave IPA21.52weird flavors mixed w/hops does not make a good beer
Gimmick/SpicedMillerRedd's Apple Ale3.51.52.5A lot of artificial apple flavoring.
Gimmick/SpicedShipyardSea Dog Blueberry2.52.52.5overpowering taste of artificial blueberry flavoring.
Gimmick/SpicedKennebunkportBlueberry Wheat Ale3.52.53hints of sunset wheat & public bathroom cleaning supplies
Gimmick/SpicedThe House of ShandyTenacious Traveler Shandy23.53pinesol smell & taste plus ginger, creamy ginger beer
Gimmick/SpicedMagic HatPistil3.554fruity weed, subtle hops but still there (Dandelion Beer)
Gimmick/SpicedMagic Hat#9544.5A little too fruity & Fizzy. Colin says "Flat Dr. Pepper" apricot is general consensus. Very gimmicky beer.
Gimmick/SpicedLeft HandGood Juju5.555.5ginger beer/lager mix, ginger is weird, like a cider/shandy
Gimmick/SpicedBrouwerij Van HonsebrouckSt. Louis Framboise4.56.55.5JC- strong strawberry!!! CE- sour cherry. (whoops actually raspberry)
Gimmick/SpicedBreckenridge BreweryAgave Wheat6.566.5don't taste spice, wheat or agave. real balanced, not too sweet - no gimmick
GruitFlying DogGruit42.53.5Taste like chemicals, alpine cleaner
HefeweizenSpoetzlShiner Hefeweizen2.533lemon smell, hints of shandy, JC - most offensive hefeweizen ever had, worse blue moon
HefeweizenSly FoxRoyal Weisse Ale544.5SUPER light, slight bitterness
HefeweizenAmstel BrouwerijAmstel Wheat65.55.5smells like good wheat, mcdonalds of light wheat beer, starts creamy ends watery
HefeweizenLicher PrivatbrauereiLicher Hefeweizen5.566A little watery, very drinkable. Light wheat beer. Very sweet. Dry Finish
HefeweizenBrooklynBrooklyner Weisse6.566.5not as much cream or clove and more crips than franziskaner but still real good
HefeweizenSteinhausMission St. Hefeweizen6.56.56.5more bite than TJ's Hefeweizen, on tap = TJ's
HefeweizenWeisses Bräuhaus G. Schneider & SohnErdinger Weissber6.56.56.5very simple wheat, smooth but nothing extra to it, no strong flavors. Very champagney
HefeweizenWeihenstephanerHefeweissbier76.57Decent. Very smooth and light. Lacks the crispness,clove & banana full flavor that our favorite child franziskaner naturtrub has!
HefeweizenWeisses Bräuhaus G. Schneider & SohnSchneider Weisse Tap 7 Unser Original76.57Smooth Wheat Beer. Dark color - CE- "Band-aid" taste.
HefeweizenWürzburger Hofbräu AGJulius Echter Hefe-Weissbier (Hell)7.56.57true wheat, some alcohol smell/taste,
HefeweizenTrader Joe'sTrader Joe's Bavarian Style Hefeweizen777similarly to their dunkel it's knockoff Franziskaner, missing drop of spice but still very good
HefeweizenBrauerei AyingAyinger Bräu Weisse6.57.57JC- nice hefeweizen. banana, cloves, not crisp at all tho, CE- sweet then drop crisp
HefeweizenFlying DogIn Heat Wheat87.58Great wheat beer, CE- finally had on tap- excellent sister to franziskaner - more smooth/sweet
HefeweizenSpaten-Franziskaner-BräuFranziskaner Hefe-Weissbier Naturtrüb787.5Good Wheat Beer - light, yet full of flavor. Colin says, Smoother than original
HefeweizenSierra NevadaKellerweis Hefeweizen888Possibly the best American made Wheat!
HefeweizenSpaten-Franziskaner-BräuFranziskaner Hefe-Weisse Naturtrub8.599The one that sets the bar love at first sip in Australia- inspired me to steal their signature glass from the bar, refinding on tap was a special moment
Hefeweizen (American Pale)SmuttynoseSummer Weizen2.52.52.5bottle - JC "smells like hair" bitter, fruity, citrus, acidic, high carbonation. not summer, not weizen
Hefeweizen (American Pale)UintaGolden Spike Hefeweizen54.55Not much of a wheat taste - doesn't have much to offer
Hefeweizen (American Pale)Bayou TechePassioné5.555.5Light, yet full flavor
Hefeweizen (American Pale)HarpoonMaple Wheat (Catamount?)5.566wheat from Boston- subtle maple. Want to try other maple- seems not many exist w/o fruit added, JC- bland, CE - very drinkable
Hefeweizen (American Pale)Magic HatCircus Boy666Doesnt taste like a wheat beer. Sweet, refreshing, simple
Hefeweizen (American Pale)Otter CreekWolaver's Wildflower Wheat666Novelty beer, not for all night drinking - Chamomile/Honey/Graham Cracker, JC- weird Start, sweet finish, CE- Ginger Bready
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)RJ RockersBuckwheat After Dark (Bad) Ale444cigarette water, no wheat
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)Erdinger WeissbräuErdinger Weissbier Dunkel7.55.56.5surprisingly little smell, lighter smoother despite color, doesn't taste like dunkel- one step darker, CE- good not special
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)Hacker-PschorrHacker-Pschorr Dunkle Weisse66.56.5JC- nice base flavor, but very light, kinda watery. lacks spice/flavors of other dunkel Weiss. CE- smooth sweet caramel bit
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)Würzburger Hofbräu AGJulius Echter Hefe-Weissbier Dunkel676.5can't remember where this was tried, would try again
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)Trader Joe'sJosephs Brau Dunkelweizen76.57used to be go to beer at TJ, now hefe even better, knockoff Franziskaner dunkell
Hefeweizen (Dunkelweizen)Spaten-Franziskaner-BräuFranziskaner Hefe-Weisse Dunkel7.58.58darker version of Naturtrub, but smooth w/cloves
Hefeweizen (Kristalweizen)Jacob LeinenkugelLeinenkugel's Honey Weiss3.523this company doesn't have much going for it
Hefeweizen (Kristalweizen)SixpointApollo4.555Light wheat beer, too much citrus "Lemon zest" for JC., CE- liked it better from tap @ BK waterfront
Hefeweizen (Weizenbock)Full SailVendell's Veizen55.55.5dunkel/dark lager mix with a sharp ending
Hefeweizen (Weizenbock)WeihenstephanerVitus6.55.56Decent Wheat.
Hefeweizen (Weizenbock)Weisses Bräuhaus G. Schneider & SohnAventinus (TAP 6 Unser Aventinus)766.5banana, prune dunkel. creamy and smooth, but sharp finish (8.2% ABV)
IPA (American)Fire IslandRed Wagon IPA1.50.51gross except for the front (doesn't save it). not falling off the wagon for this one
IPA (American)Two BrothersOutlaw IPA1.511.5stop it! fucking IPA
IPA (American)EmpireIndia Pale Ale1.511.5nausea inducing (Nassau Spring '13, similar spelling may be reason why)
IPA (American)ShmaltzHe'Brew Hop Manna1.511.5if JC bottled his scent at the gym and chilled it, CE- offensive (the thought & the beer)
IPA (American)ShipyardMonkey Fist IPA11.51.5Gross. Dud
IPA (American)Sand CreekWild Ride IPA1.51.51.5hops never leave your mouth - better to mix with ligher beer
IPA (American)SlyFoxRoute 113 IPA121.5Finishes bitter Robitussin. Does anyone actually like this? 113 IBU's
IPA (American)SpeakeasyBig Daddy IPA312hop shit
IPA (American)Ballast PointSculpin IPA2.51.52JC - This is a fine crafted beer, and I hate to shit on the rating, but im just down with the hops!, CE- holy shit hops- gross
IPA (American)KuhnhennAmerican IPA333dull hops
IPA (American)SaranacRed IPA1.543thirb (horrible notes from CE during Nassau Spring '13- where's that intern?)
IPA (American)Napa SmithCool Brew433.5JC - IPA (aka not into it) CE - skanky
IPA (American)Widmer BrothersSpiced IPA (Rotator Series #4)4.534not as bitter but soapy - spiced didn't save this 1st IPA to make it to the list
IPA (American)Blitz-WeinhardHenry Weinhard's Woodland Pass IPA4.53.54it's an IPA, what more do you want?
IPA (American)SixpointBengali Tiger4.53.54A lot of fresh hops. Citrus & bitter
IPA (American)Dogfish Head60 Minute IPA444Not the worst IPA, not too bitter, slight malty taste.
IPA (American)AnchorLiberty Ale54.55Fresh/young hoppy taste - light. "IPA Junior"
IPA (Belgian)Blue PointWhite IPA2.522.5dry not crazy hops but not enough wit for pleasure
IPA (Belgian)SaranacWhite IPA1.53.52.5white doesn't hide hops
IPA (Belgian)Green FlashLe Freak Ale4.544.5tastes exactly like it's name in order, belgian front, IPA finish (9.20% ABV)
IPA (Black)Heavy SeasBlack Cannon2.51.52hopped up porter with heavy coffee
IPA (Black)Firestone WalkerWookey Jack Black Rye IPA31.52.5JC- I like to keep my rye in jewish rye bread
IPA (Black)Bronx BreweryBlack Pale Ale3.533.5JC- Dark IPA but not too bitter, incredible smooth, too bad hoppy CE- coffee stink, would think it's a stout but gets bitter
IPA (English)NewburghNewBurton IPA454.5not too bad, lighter IPA. From brewery "Our IPA is hoppy, but not in the “strip the enamel off your teeth”- kind of way."
IPA (English)BassBass IPA55.55.5Standard Hoppy IPA
IPA (Imperial)Kysela Pere Et Fils, Ltd.Sneaky Pete Imperial IPA20.51.5Hoppy Dimetapp, gross (made through Laughing Dog for Kysela)
IPA (Imperial)RuckusHoptimus Prime312JC - Not good, But I can deal with it, CE- why would you want to?
IPA (Imperial)Boulder BeerMojo Risin' Double IPA2.51.52do we even have to say?
IPA (Imperial)SingleCut BeersmithsBilly Full-Stack IIPA31.52.5HOPS! 119 IBU!!!
IPA (Imperial/American 2x)Bear RepublicCafé Racer 15100.5offensive
Keller BierSamuel AdamsAlpine Spring4.534much light version of Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat
Keller BierBrooklynGold Standard Export Kellerbier56.56slightly bitter, esp for a light beer, CE - like the honey but want more (will add more if drinking at home)- best of the bar
KölschACBCEasy Blonde Ale5.555.5very simple, almost tastes like a pilsner
KölschStoudtsKarnival Kölsch5.555.5touch of sweetness, decent but nothing special
KölschCaptain LawrenceCaptain's Kölsch4.565.5CE- sweet & smooth, with slight crisp taste. sweet = honey taste, JC- little fruit, bit hops, watery not much too it
KölschGaffel Becker & CoGaffel Kölsch56.56JC- easy to drink, really light beer, CE- light amber, crispy too, drop fruit - better Stella
KölschBallast PointYellowtail Pale Ale6.56.56.5like wheat without the crispness but still sweet
KölschBrauerei Heinrich ReissdorfReissdorf Kölsch676.5smooth, sweet- but not overpowering, very easy to drink. bottle tastes more harsh, JC- full body light beer
Lager (American Adjunct)Cosmos Brewery (Thai Beverage Plc.)Chang (Classic)2.533CE- good to drink with spicy Thai food since taste like water but with hint of metal
Lager (American Adjunct)CoorsBatch 193.544wait for the new batch
Lager (American Adjunct)S.A. DammEstrella Damm3.54.54smooth, well watery
Lager (American Adjunct)BackusCristal555VERY CRISP!
Lager (American Adjunct)BackusCusqueña5.55.55.5Approved by the King
Lager (American Adjunct)NarragansettNarragansett Lager666CE- great travel beer, definition of stock, cheap on draft too- can = bottle
Lager (American Amber)BrooklynBrooklyn Lager4.544.5JC - refreshing but hops limit the score to this one, CE- junior IPA, wish the malt overtook the hops
Lager (American Amber)CoorsThird Shift555Totally Average beer
Lager (American Pale)SpoetzlShiner Kosmos Reserve454.5smells soapy, light flowery hops, CE- one of the few pale ales I can enjoy
Lager (American Pale)Full SailSession Lager5.555.5half water, half sweet its ok, slight crisp, not much there- nothing great, play it safe
Lager (American Pale)KonaLongboard Island Lager5.55.55.5want to like this company more, but just okay
Lager (American Pale)SpoetzlShiner Blonde65.56clean, slight crisp, floral, very little to it, clean, chuggable, what bud light should be
Lager (Euro Dark)Anderson ValleyEl Steinber Dark Lager56.56sour then dry, very unique, sweet smell/taste, butter scotch, easy to go down (rest of notes illegible- "ready die- less carb, tail end >again"
Lager (Euro Pale)Oranjeboom Bierbrouwerij B.VOranjeboom Premium Lager43.54cheap champagne & apple juice, foul nickle aftertaste. starts ok, high carbonation factor
Lager (Euro Pale)Zywiec BreweriesZywiec Beer555Taste like a standard pilsner. A sweeter version of pilsner urquell
Lager (Euro Pale)Birra MorettiBirra Moretti5.555.5Very plain
Lager (Euro Pale)Brasseries KronenbourgKronenbourg 1664565.5overall light - fruit & water, common at French restaurants so a good go to
Lager (Euro Pale)Palm (Brouwerij Palm)Estaminet Premium Pils65.56Clean Pils Lager (Euro Pale) = Belgian Pilsner
Lager (Euro Pale)Boon Rawd BrewerySingha5.566Clean Beer, refreshing.
Lager (Euro Pale)PeroniNastro Azzurro666light sweet pilsner, rainbow bar special
Lager (Euro Pale)Samuel Smith Old BrewerySamuel Smith Organic Lager Beer6.56.56.5Very light, clean beer. Very Fresh. If Coors light was good, this is what it would be (Can be drank all night)
Lager (Euro Pale)Lao BreweryBeer Lao7.577.5Rice Based Lager. Very Light/Crisp/Smooth. Cider Nose
Lager (Imperial Pale)Ballast PointFathom IPL10.51hop smell, body odor shit, you've heard it all before, (IPL = Imperial Pale Lager)
Lager (Light)Amstel BrouwerijAmstel Light555watery, hint of pilsner bec tiny crisp, metallic carbonation end, unique taste
Lager (Light)Widmer BrothersOmission Lager55.55.5Simple light, slight bitterness (gluten free)
Lager (Light)Cerveceria Nacional DominicanaPresidente Light5.55.55.5Very light, refreshing
Lager (Munich Dunkel)Brauerei Beck & Co.Beck's Dark66.56.5Fuller than becks standard. Less crisp & Less Carbonated
Lager (Munich Dunkel)Staatliches HofbräuhausHofbräu Dunkel6.56.56.5hint of caramel & coffee, caramel. sweet and roasted. dark color. smooth
Lager (Munich Helles)VictoryVictory Limited Lager343.5malty, hops, BO. at Rattle'n'Hum but "limited" no where to be found on internet
Lager (Munich Helles)CiscoSummer of Lager4.544.5sharp, little fruity but doesn't do it. don't you guys make cable boxes?
Lager (Vienna)Samuel AdamsBoston Lager433.5CE- initial hit to the taste buds of rejection, JC - sour start
Lager (Vienna)YonkersLager44.54.5meh
Lager (Vienna)Snake RiverSnake River Lager4.55.55CE- smooth, hint of flat sweet malt, can drink lot but nothing special, JC- letdown, expected more for color, slight sour end
Lager (Vienna)AbitaAmber6.577sweet smell, syrupy - werthers original like, on tap = 8 (brewery says Munich style lager)
OktoberfestAveryThe Kaiser5.555.5gimmicky - candy apple taste, can't drink full (Imperial Oktoberfest)
OktoberfestStaatliches HofbräuhausHofbräu München Original65.56well balanced. slightly malty, great flavor
OktoberfestHacker-PschorrHacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest-Märzen75.56.5JC- this is one of the best Oktoberfest I've ever had, great flavor, CE- all malt, smooth
Pale Ale (American)SteadfastSorghum Pale Ale (Gluten Free), bitter shit. DUD
Pale Ale (American)Great South BayBlood Orange Pale Ale211.5grapefruit taste
Pale Ale (American)Rattle N HumPale Ale w/Apricot2.522.5warm sweet & nasty
Pale Ale (American)Greenport HarborHarbor Pale333hoppy, crispy piss
Pale Ale (American)Oskar BluesDales Pale Ale243stick with the yella pils
Pale Ale (American)CartonBoat433.5BO/BO light, nasty, fruity
Pale Ale (American)UintaWyld (Extra Pale Ale)3.54.54watery hops
Pale Ale (American)Captain LawrenceFreshchester Pale Ale544.5Very crisp, slight hops, watered IPA, just ok
Pale Ale (American)Widmer BrothersOmission Pale Ale544.5Sierra Nevada Pale Ale imitate.
Pale Ale (American)FoundersFounders Pale Ale4.54.54.5Nice, little golden but too bitter, dull hops
Pale Ale (American)Red HookAudible Ale54.55crisp, refreshing
Pale Ale (American)16 MileOld Court Ale4.555CE - can drink but too much malt JC- more hops too, "dark pale ale"
Pale Ale (American)Souther TierPhin & Matt's65.56JC- slight hops, CE- moist sour?
Pale Ale (Belgian Strong)Brouwerij HuygheLa Guillotine5.54.54On the fruity side.
Pale Ale (Belgian Strong)UnibroueDon de Dieu65.56alcohol taste dulled by smoothest, least carbonated, smoothest- Triple wheat ale
Pale Ale (Belgian)Bronx BreweryBelgian Pale Ale22.52.5hops x3
Pale Ale (Belgian)TuataraTuatara Golden Ale3.53.53.5New Zealand Craft Brew
Pale Ale (Belgian)Blue MoonBelgian Style Pale Ale444CE- maximum amount of hops i can handle, but still dont enjoy just can handle. JC don't like Pale Ale
Pale Ale (Belgian)Greenport HarborHavre Rouge444dark IPA
Pale Ale (Belgian)BrunehautBio Ambree (organic)44.54.5Lots of coffee, smells like starbucks sample beans, but not too bitter
Pale Ale (Belgian)Brouwerij AffligemAffligem Blond5.555.5--
Pale Ale (Belgian)White BirchBelgian Style Pale Ale5.555.5JC - start hare, end with tortoise - sour to bitter, CE- weird start, good finish. the two face of beers
Pale Ale (Belgian)Palm (Brouwerij Palm)Palm666Very Plain beer. JC- A crisper & cleaner version of stella artois.
Pale Ale (English)HarpoonUFO Pale Ale423hops, meh
Pale Ale (English)CiscoWhale Tale - Pale Ale4.544.5Great taste, BUT, very bitter Finish (English Pale Ale)
Pale Ale (English)Greene King / Morland BreweryOld Speckled Hen3.554.5CE- not as bad as remember (orig 3.5 @ fest), JC - sticking to story
Pale Ale (English)Long TrailPolleantor55.55.5modest advertised hops not there because sweetness buries it, brewery- "spring ale"
Pale Ale (English)Samuel Smith Old BrewerySamuel Smith's Organic Best Ale66.56.5Simple ale. Smooth, full flavor
Pilsner (Czech Style)Bear RepublicDouble Aught222even after the Café Racer 15 dud, still not good
Pilsner (Czech Style)SpoetzlShiner Czech Style Pilsner444sweet smell, not as clean and crisp as most pils, metallic aftertaste, bitter, sweet taste of sax/clarinet reed
Pilsner (Czech Style)Trader Joe'sJosephs Brau Plznr3.554more watery version of a pilsner, front is there but end is water
Pilsner (Czech Style)Ballast PointPescadero Pilsner44.54.5light watery cidery taste, like wine - meh factor
Pilsner (Czech Style)LagunitasPILS (Czech Style Pils)44.54.5JC - Crisp, no taste, Hoppy Finish
Pilsner (Czech Style)Královský Pivovar KrušoviceKrušovice Imperial4.54.54.5--
Pilsner (Czech Style)Pivovary StaropramenStaropramen Lager54.55to try- had at end of session when drunk
Pilsner (Czech Style)SixpointApollo Wheat54.55taste of bubble gum, bandaid, sharp ending. sales rep unhappy, but not very saleslike (3B's)
Pilsner (Czech Style)Sierra NevadaSummerfest Lager5.54.55fruity BO, flowery, sweet pils ending, hint hops. draft just as crisp as bottle but tastes better, JC - reminded me of light version of their IPA
Pilsner (Czech Style)SmuttynoseVunderbar (Short Batch #11)4.55.55CE- crisp little cider taste to it but refreshing
Pilsner (Czech Style)Budweiser Budvar BreweryCzechvar5.555.5light w/bit of fruit, celery aftertaste (goes w/o saying: better than budweiser)
Pilsner (Czech Style)Full SailLTD 03 Bohemian Pilsner55.55.5pilsner style, more flavor (JC don't like the flavor), more like beer than session lager at least
Pilsner (Czech Style)Oskar BluesMama's Little Yella Pils5.55.55.5constant carbonation, slight bitter at end, CE- better on tap (rattle n hum) good standard pils
Pilsner (Czech Style)Souther TierEurotrash Pilz5.55.55.5
Pilsner (German Style)Anadolu Efes BreweryEfes Pilsener243water
Pilsner (German Style)Union Export BreweryPeter's Brand Pilsner Beer4.54.54.5too watery, better version of coors light
Pilsner (German Style)Dinkelacker-Schwabenbraeu AGDinkelacker CD Pils3.554.5standard
Pilsner (German Style)ShmaltzConey Island Mermaid Pilsner454.5nothing special, (American Rye Pilsner?)
Pilsner (German Style)SixpointThe Crisp54.55Very little flavor. Decent for a watered down beer
Pilsner (German Style)TröegsSunshine Pils54.55light for a pilsner, clean, bubbly
Pilsner (German Style)Jever Frisian BreweryJever Pilsner555Standard Pilsner JC- a lot of Pilsners taste the same to me.
Pilsner (German Style)Radeberger ExportbierbrauereiRadeberger Pilsner555very simple beer, pilsner all the way- nothing else
Pilsner (German Style)Sly FoxPikeland Pils55.55.5you had one, you had them all
Pilsner (German Style)Paulaner Brauerei GmbH & Co. KGPilsener Haus Original565.5JC- standard pils. kinda bitter finish, CE- standard/smooth
Pilsner (German Style)Stieglbrauerei zu Salzburg GmbHStiegl Pils65.56crispy, nice finish, strong hint of apple juice (but nothing like a cider)
Pumpkin AleRex Beverage HoldingsHorny Goat Hornycopia Pumpkin Ale5.53.54.5pumpkin & chalk (why serve this at Nassau Spring '13?)
Pumpkin AleShipyardPumpkinhead Ale77.57.5inherent cinnamon taste (can understand why cinn sugar rim jobs are popular), hint sweet/spice, very refreshing
Rye BeerWandering StarCatcher in the Rye423meh, hoppy, dry crispy start, and dry finish
Rye BeerCricket HillSmoked Rye24.53.5CE- smokiness is good, rye isn't, JC- way too smoky (Small Batch series)
Rye BeerSpeakeasyScarlett Red Rye44.54.5JC- not great, not bad. I don't love Rye beers, but if you do, try it, CE-standard malty beer
Saison/Farmhouse AleGreen FlashGreenflash/St. Feuillien Friendship Brew2.51.52Smokey Band-aid, stout with a lemon taste, cleaning chemical taste (black saison)
Saison/Farmhouse AleThe AlchemistCelia Saison322.5bug spray, chemical taste, slightly sour too, nothing redeeming (also gluten free)
Saison/Farmhouse AleBrooklynSorachi Ace32.53Way too much champagne like carbonation. Light hint of lemon & band-aid
Saison/Farmhouse AleOmmegangHennepin4.53.54pure saison: cider/alcohol flavor, very champagne texture
Saison/Farmhouse AleBayou TecheSaison D'écrevisses444dull, bkand, dirty katrina water
Saison/Farmhouse AleAllagashInterlude3.54.54okay sour start, but alcohol ending too much
Saison/Farmhouse AleStillwater Artisanal AlesStateside Saison5.545A True Saison, champagney, ok
Saison/Farmhouse AleStillwater Artisanal AlesA Saison Darkly (Import Series Vol. #2)55.55.5JC- typical dark saison, CE- tripel & watery stout as 1 beer
Saison/Farmhouse AleStillwater Artisanal AlesA Saison Darkly (Import Series Vol. #2)55.55.5JC- typical dark saison, CE- tripel & watery stout as 1 beer
Saison/Farmhouse AleStillwater Artisanal AlesBrewer's Art Debutante56.56(Alphabet City Beer Co sampling)
SchwarzbierFull SailSession Black4.55.55coffee w/carbonation (old review) - more water to the lager 6 which is needed
SchwarzbierKöstritzer Schwarzbierbrauerei GmbH & Co.Köstritzer Schwarzbier5.555.5JC- smooth dark beer, hint of coffee and chocolate, CE- dark water, okay
SchwarzbierKrálovský Pivovar KrušoviceKrušovické černé4.56.55.5--
SchwarzbierSpoetzlShiner Bohemian Black Lager66.56.5sweet coffee smell, rich start, watery end, wish more consistent, watery stout
Smoked BeerBayou TecheBoucanee343.5If you like the taste of Smoke, you will like this. I don't (JC)
Smoked BeerDark HorseFore Smoked Stout534too much coffee not enough smoke, wish less coffee but cream and smoke there
Smoked BeerLong TrailBavarian Smoked Brown (Brown Bag Series Batch #2)1.564would go real well with BBQ, bacony, not overly smoky
Steam Beer (Dampfbier)Local OptionDampf Loc75.56.5JC- clean, full flavor. CE - nothing to it but subdued hops - ok. aka "California common"
Steam Beer (Dampfbier)AnchorAnchor Steam Beer66.56.5Hops are buried under the malty caramel
Stout (Imperial Milk)Southern TierCreme Brulee (Imperial Milk Stout)7.588tastes like wherthers original, candy in a glass, CE - part of a flight, not sure if can handle full glass
Stout (Milk)River HorseOatmeal Milk Stout756CE- smooth start, bitter end, JC- smooth all the way
Stout (Milk)Left HandMilk Stout7.57.57.5Chocolate Full Stout! so smooth - great go to. nitro is supreme
Trappist (Dubbel)Brouwerij AffligemAffligem Dubbel232.5Not Good
Trappist (Dubbel)Brasserie St. FeuillienSt-Feuillien Brune544.5flat aclohol taste
Trappist (Dubbel)OmmegangAbbey63.55JC- Prunes, high 8.5% ABV doesn't taste that high, CE- bandaid alcohol
Trappist (Dubbel)SmuttynoseWinter Ale54.55CE- not too dark but (illegible)
Trappist (Quadrupel)BrunehautThe Cloak of St. Martin555subdued stout & tripel had a baby, here it is
Trappist (Tripel)AllagashYakuza31.52.5can taste the green of the hops (draft only beer)
Trappist (Tripel)WeyerbacherMerry Monks' Ale4.523.5Triple. Strange taste, very sweet. Colin "Rubber Cement"
Trappist (Tripel)RuckusEuphoria534Standard Tripel, nothing out of the ordinary
Trappist (Tripel)Captain LawrenceGolden Delicious5.534.5CE- apple cider but not as good, JC- very fruit, & alcoholy. interesting but wont drink more than sample
Trappist (Tripel)UnibroueLa Fin Du Monde5.555.5citrus smell/flavor, alcohol taste too (no surprise) Triple-style Golden Ale
Trappist (Tripel)Brouwerij BosteelsTripel Karmeliet55.55.5CE - very light, champagne like, another '12 spring craft fest highlight.
Trappist (Tripel)Great DivideOrabella55.55.5Taste almost like a stronger/more ABV Blue Moon
Winter/ChristmasBoulder BeerNever Summer Ale4.523.5hops, no good, IPA if anything. from brewery: "assertively hopped"
Winter/ChristmasSamuel AdamsMerry Mischief Gingerbread Stout3.533.5JC - Hint of sweet chinese food
Winter/ChristmasRJ RockersThe First Snow Ale5.555.5CE scribble: "decent reminds Leinenkugel little better? "hearty American pale ale"
Winter/ChristmasSamuel AdamsOld Fezziwig Ale (Brown Ale)5.555.5Doesn't taste like a wheat, but decent for the winter season.
Winter/ChristmasSamuel AdamsWhite Christmas (Wheat)655.5JC- Taste like Christmas beer. Cinnamon & Nutmeg, CE- overspiced could almost pass as a pumpkin beer
WitbierThe Brewers CollectiveVorlauf's Witbier1.501Mr. Clean garbage, asshole bartender throws tasting "glass" (Nassua Spring '13)
WitbierCiscoGrey Lady2.533dull glue, hint of cleaner
WitbierBlue MoonImpulse2.53.53A Red Wine beer... this is why you dont mix wine with beer
WitbierJacob LeinenkugelLeinenkugel's Sunset Wheat5.51.53.5Fruity Pebbles!
WitbierEmpireWhite Aphro52.54Mr. Clean approved (cleaning product taste), lemon ginger bandaid
WitbierBlue MoonProximity3.54.54A White Wine beer, slightly better than the red, but still, don't mix beer & wine.
WitbierBlue MoonBelgian White Belgian-Style Wheat Ale5.54.55overspiced to cover plainness, used to like it
WitbierAllagashWhite5.555.5liked it more before discovering German wheats, american version of wheat, good start, a true 5.75
WitbierSouthampton Publick HouseDouble White Ale5.555.5JC- light decent wheat, CE- too crispy
WitbierOmmegangWitte655.5Simple Wheat beer, not special
WitbierBrasserie Lefèbvre SABlanche De Bruxelles55.55.5lemony pale witbier, most non-offensive beer ever, warmer = more flavor
WitbierAveryAvery White Rascal565.5CE- 1 of only summer beers, so refreshing difference, slightly filtered smooth wheat, simple, easy to go down, JC - A lot of lemon citrus, not much wheat taste, bland lemons
WitbierBrouwerij van HoegaardenHoegaarden Original White Ale5.566CE- used to be a favorite, now I know better wheats without lemon sharpness, still refreshing JC- gateway wheat beer
WitbierFlying DogWoody Creek White5.566Very Crisp. Light but full. Champagne with less fizz

2 thoughts on “The Beer List

  1. Deertay Esteban

    Hey Guys,

    Just wanted to thank you guys for making this site/blog. I think its awesome that someone has created a satirical beer blog along the lines of ‘The Onion’. I had a damn good laugh reading your beer reviews and sent it out to some friends in the craft beer scene and believe you me, everyone had a good hearty chuckle!! I mean giving Firestone Wookie Jack a 1.5, that shits hilarious!!! The sculpin rating of 2 is a real knee slapper, I literally almost fell to the floor laughing. I love how Allagash White and blue Moon had almost the same score, I mean that’s gold, then you go and give the Trader Joes contract brewed wheat beer a 7! Describing beer as ‘watery’ is a great sorta poke to some of the other serious beer rating blogs that actually use real industry terms. Too funny!!! Even the name of your blog is great, ‘down with hops’ is so tongue in cheek because I mean who in their right mind would honestly name their blog after shunning one of the 4 most important ingredients in beer?!? You guys do, that’s who! I wonder, when you guys are at craft beer events do you stay in character? Please tell me you do!! Anyway, keep up the good (and did I mention ridiculously hilarious) work. I’ll be checking in from time to time whenever I need a good laugh.


  2. nohops Post author

    Dear Deertay,

    We are extremely pleased to have our first fan! Thank you for taking the time to using the search and sorting tools, which are very special to us.

    To get down to it – Firestone Wookie Jack had an average of 2.5 with CE giving it the 1.5 and JC a 3. But specifics aside, it’s an IPA so what did you expect? The bitter churning of hops in your mouth, chewing on burnt plants does not elicit pleasure. And don’t get us started on Ballast Point…I’m sure you’ve read our other posts on them, so I won’t even get started either.

    We see you’ve picked up that Hefeweizens are king here vs the lowly IPA, well played Deertay.

    If you would be so kind, please explain what “real” means in your context of “real industry terms?”

    We are not actors, therefore there is no character to break, so next time you are at said beer events, please introduce yourself as you have a picture of us and we’d be happy to discuss further. If you’d like to be involved, we could record it as well to be featured in a future blog post.

    Thank you,


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